- me on my way home from class: oh man i'm gonna get so much work done let me make a to do list and get that shit done quickly and effectively i'm so pumped
- me the second i get home: nah
i hit my coworkers shoulder lightly and he was like “you’re going to make me cry like a girl” and i was like “what’s wrong with being a girl?” and he was quiet for a moment then he looked into the distance and whispered “the social standards they’re forced to live by”
- 14 years old: I'm young but I know what I want. This isn't that hard, I'm all grown up already and have everything figured out.
- 17 years old: Well, this is a little harder than I thought. School is almost ending. What am I going to do with my life?
- 21 years old: What the fuck is going on? Where are my socks?
*points to bedroom* This is where we frick frack.
*points to kitchen* This is where we snick snack.
*points to living room* This is where we kick back.
*points to bathroom* This is where we shit shat.
*points to couch* This is where we chit chat.
*points to computer* This is where we click clack.
*points to shelf* This is where weknick knack.
*points to sex dungeon* This is where we paddy-whack.
What a truly awful website this is
"them" is not meant to be singular. it's a snail. call it "it". call it "him or her". it is one organism. singular. animals do not possess the capacity for human emotion. it's a snail.
obviously this message is not about my baby snail and ive gotten a bunch others like it so let’s whip out some shit and make this about what it really is:
singular they was being used in the 14th century, written frequently in works by Chaucer, Austen, and, yes, Shakespeare, along with many others. it wasn’t until the late fucking 19th century that asshole androcentric victorian grammarians insisted we should start to use “he” as the gender neutral indefinite default because they were fucking assholes and wanted it to be more like latin. and it barely caught on and has mostly turned into the ever elegant, oh-so-not-clunky “he or she” and now intellectuals get to piss on each other about a made up rule that wasnt even a thing for years to come
FURTHERMORE, if you are to argue that they isn’t meant to be singular, you had better stop using singular you and replace that with thee thou thy and thine. singular they has been around way longer than singular you, but none of u seem to have a problem with that… huh i wonder why that is.. .… if thou truly wish to hold true to thy belov’d Proper English, singular they wouldst be the least of thy conc’rns… . eateth my whole entire ass
you don’t really care about grammar, youre just transphobic as fuck.
in other news, Sprinkle the snail, one, singular organism, has a hat on now and they are very happily chomping away at lettuce as we speak :-)
I’m stuck between wanting:
1. A long lasting relationship with my soulmate who supports me and protects me and is my partner and we are completely bad ass together and in love
2. Wanting to have casual sex and rip out the heart of everyone person I meet
3. Being independent and having a loyal dog while I’m married to my career
It scares me how accurate this is.
uuugh i made too many toquitos, but theres only three left on my plate and i refuse to waste them.